Echo
by Justagirlwithwords
Summary: His heart was thumping. Feelings echoing in his mind, bouncing around, unsatisfied, and unregistered. Her words echoed, resonating within those insecurities he tried so hard to push down. His movement echoed, no longer an extension of his cool and calm exterior. Any control and poise was long gone. (Add on to Panic Attack Scene in 5x03) T for language


**"** **That's enough. You need to get yourself under control** ** _right now_** **."**

 **"** **What the hell are you talking about?"**

 **"** **I'm talking about you have a problem. And it doesn't have anything to do with me. And you're just exposing it by bringing up some paranoid bullshit about Mike Ross going with Robert Zane. Because this all** ** _started_** **when Donna left** ** _you_** **, and now you are afraid that Mike is going do the** ** _same thing_** **. So you better get your abandonment issues under control, because Jack Solaf is going to keep coming, and now you are going to have to put him down."**

Jessica's words echoed in his ears. He could see her lips moving, her head shaking, her eyes stern, meaning business.

His heart was thumping, he felt himself faltering in his steadiness, completely unable to speak. Unable to retort in a snarky comeback that usually came to him so quickly. He could feel himself leaving her office, but felt as if he had no control over it. Blurred figures wearing suits and pencil skirts passed him by, seeming as they were there one minute and completely gone the next. For a single second he could hear Mike, or was it Donna, saying "Objects in mirror appear closer than they appear."

His steps were heavy, lugging his full body weight with no poise whatsoever. His tie felt suffocating, his suit suddenly seemed small, and his collar, restraining. Unregistered emotions, thoughts, and whatever else swirled around in his mind.

Tunnel vision. His heart still pumping, louder, droning out the voices of the firm. The normal buzz was no longer there. When his new secretary came into his blurred and skewed line of vision, he could, once again see her lips moving. Words echoed, bounced off his ears with no comprehension. The glass walls seemed nothing more than blurry nothing in the corner of his eye.

His eyes no longer held that 'poker face', they were wide, and bewildered. His browns were open with anxiety and insecurity.

 **"** **Hey I need to talk to you."** Unbuttoning his suit jacket, he headed to his desk. Somewhere deep down, he understood it as a barrier. A safe border between him and Mike. Something to prevent all these things that were surging up and attacking him all at once. All those insecurities. All those feelings.

 **"** **Not now."** He uttered, his voice scratchy, this being all that he could muster up.

 **"** **I know you are mad from before, but I need a favor."**

 **"** **I said not now."** Loosening his tie, in an effort to get rid of the leash this attack had on him. He looked in Mike's direction, his vision clearing somewhat. His heart still racing, thumping against his chest.

 **"** **Harvey, what's going on with you."** Mike's intonation seemed to have changed quite a bit, not that it was truly understood at the moment.

 **"** **Nothing is going on with me, I need a glass of water."** Marching his way over to his beverage tray.

 **"** **What the hell is going on?"** His actions were unclear, nothing precise, nothing sure. He motioned to pick up one of the VOSS water bottles, barely managing doing so, as he knocked the other one over. He flicked the top off after unscrewing it, his heart pumping in his ears. Water dripped as he poured some in a glass. After gulping it down, it seemed to clear things up, his heart returning to a sense of normalcy, and he felt relief. And dread.

Mike was incessant on calling 911, and he knew the only way he was going to prevent that from happening was admitting it.

 **"** **It's not a heart attack."**

 **"** **You don't know that."**

 **"** **It's a panic attack."** His words were raspy, and sounded out of breath, as if the effort of admitting the truth to Mike left his breathless. His eyes still recovering, were clearing up, and he could barely comprehend, much less truly understand what Mike's face truly meant, taking him down one more notch. He was supposed to read people.

By the time Jack Solaf had sauntered in his office, he mustered enough control to switch gears, returning to a semblance of cocky and confident.

He felt weak. He felt unsure. He was worried, for more matters than one.

And he sure as hell didn't feel like Harvey _Goddamn_ Specter.

 **Hey guys! This wasn't much more than just adding a bit to the actual scene in 5x03. Hope you guys enjoyed it!**

 **\- Justagirlwithwords**


End file.
